ISSUE ONE:

FIRST THINGS FIRST

We are so excited to introduce you to the 11 Seconds Magazine's DEBUT Issue, First Things First. In this issue, we dive deep into PCOS, periods, visits to the gynecologist, childbirth, love, sex, and even what it’s like to question the healthcare system head on. What does it mean to all of us that our firsts are remembered, recorded, and perhaps even revered?

You can now read it as a digital flipbook or as a series of articles below!

Name the Pain
Menstruation, Pain, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine Menstruation, Pain, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

Name the Pain

Eventually, the pain became unbearable. My friends forced me to call my GP. They warned me,  urged me to research my symptoms and provide the doctor a list of potential ailments upon arrival, otherwise they wouldn’t take me seriously, especially if he were male. So, I turned to google. Was it PCOS? Cervical cancer? A burst ovarian cyst? Was I dying? What if I just had a low pain threshold? Was it normal? Am I being dramatic like my dad said? I spent 25% of the next ten years in excruciating pain, wondering what was wrong with me.  

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trivia(l)
First Love, Friendship, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine First Love, Friendship, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

trivia(l)

You don’t see me immediately because your eyes are still fixed on the door as he fades beyond the frame. I try to break your mesmerized glance with a wave, a “hey, long time no see”, and a smirk of my own to make it seem like I haven’t spent the last two hours missing you. You laugh it off and glance at the door one more time, noting it has only been a few hours. I swallow my follow up.

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Licking Ignored Wounds

Licking Ignored Wounds

Throughout the process of surgery and treatment, I soon realized how broken the healthcare system is especially for immigrants. Despite the fact my mother was an educated woman and fluent in English, the providers preferred talking to me, a twelve-year-old, because my English was accentless. The lack of respect and continuous dismissal of my mother’s voice and story resulted in the disaster of finding a fibroid years later.

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A Mother in Need
Pain, Poetry 11 Seconds Magazine Pain, Poetry 11 Seconds Magazine

A Mother in Need

Explain to me the pain and confusion I feel with my own body. / Explain to me what should have been explained by / my own gynecologist.

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A New Life Emerges From The Chaos
Childbirth, Motherhood, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine Childbirth, Motherhood, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

A New Life Emerges From The Chaos

When I was in labor, I think a part of me was afraid to let my baby get delivered by someone I didn’t fully trust. Maybe I was also afraid to have my baby leave my warm safe womb for the scary and chaotic world around us. My subconscious was probably influencing my physiology more than I knew at the time. My mind was perceiving danger and my body didn’t know how to deal with this added stress.

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Birth From Not So Rose-Colored Glasses
Childbirth, Medicine, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine Childbirth, Medicine, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

Birth From Not So Rose-Colored Glasses

The glint of the shiny surgical tools on the table set up next to the mom’s bed catches my eye as the light reflects off of them. The tools look sharp and conniving to me, lined up neatly and perfectly on a bright blue surgical drape. I realize I am struck by how medicalized the whole birth process is. It feels foolish to even think that, as a supposed aspiring physician myself. But there’s something unsettling about the way the mom in front of me feels reduced to a singular organ that needs surgery performed on it.

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What If I Could Never Have Kids?
PCOS, Life Decisions, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine PCOS, Life Decisions, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

What If I Could Never Have Kids?

The first time I was told I may never be able to have kids, I was 13. It’s a bit young to be thinking about having any, but surprisingly it was an unexpectedly monumental moment for me. I can’t remember exactly how my pediatrician told me…had she been flippant? Kind? Reassuring or absolute? I guess it didn’t matter, because I was 13 and all I remember was the feeling of a door closing.

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Humanizing Anne Frank: Discovering Hope through the Joy of your Period
Menstruation, History, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine Menstruation, History, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

Humanizing Anne Frank: Discovering Hope through the Joy of your Period

Getting her period signifies all these expectations and the realization that you are growing up, even if she wasn't necessarily wishing for the shedding of her uterine lining, but for the world that would emerge from the transition of childhood to adulthood. These are all the wants, desires and expectations I think many of us can relate with our transition into adulthood. Granted, I believe she has achieved so much more than I may have at 25. I still haven’t found a lot of the things she was looking for - a steady idea of my career, romantic love in any tangible form, and a confidence in what I want out of life, other than knowing I love to act, and I haven’t even begun to answer how I can do it without starving.

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I Wanted To Feel It
Childbirth, Motherhood, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine Childbirth, Motherhood, Nonfiction 11 Seconds Magazine

I Wanted To Feel It

I had read about groaning cake and decided to make groaning cookies. I mixed the batter and put it in the refrigerator, intending to cut and bake them after it chilled. But around 5 PM, I noticed a shift. I couldn’t pay attention to Sandra Oh when the contractions came. I wasn’t laughing at my husband’s jokes. The pain was getting more intense. I helped deliver forty babies during my family medicine training, so I did what any normal person would do at that point. I checked my cervix. It was open, though I couldn’t tell how far. I might not bake those cookies after all.

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