Licking Ignored Wounds
Tara Nash
My mom and I are both born in the Chinese Zodiac year of the Tiger. Tiger zodiacs are prophesied to have strong and courageous personalities; they are known to be calm in the face of danger. And while I inherited her ferocity, I also quickly realized I inherited her crippling menstrual cramps, too. A tiger can face many predators and prey but can only do so much once their own body is fighting against them. To be able to be a powerful hunter, they must first lick their old wounds.
My mother has had heavy periods and intense period cramps for as long as she could remember. After she immigrated here from Hong Kong, she learned by then to just schedule her life around her periods. No traveling, no important events, no interviews around the week of her period. For at least 2-3 days a month, she would battle nausea, heavy cramps, dizziness, and a heavy flow. The rest of the week she would continue bleeding and weakly attempting to continue with her daily life. From a young age, I learned how to tell Starbucks workers and random bystanders to not call 911 every time she fainted but to just call my auntie and give her a warm cup of water instead. I lived in fear that she would faint and hit her head in the bathroom, whenever I heard her wake up in the middle of the night to pee. We kept a bicycle helmet by the toilet. And all the while Western doctors told her this was just part of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), dismissing her concerns. As her daughter, my first perception of women’s health was that it was a battle.
Her battle came to a catastrophic climax when I was in 8th grade. She was at an acupuncturist receiving treatment when he called my uncle saying it was an emergency. The acupuncturist said , “I think she might die on this table if you don’t take her to the ER right away.” Once she was admitted to the hospital, it was discovered she had an ovarian fibroid, which is basically a benign tumor that was sucking up all her blood. She was fighting a leech within her. Throughout the process of surgery and treatment, I soon realized how broken the healthcare system is especially for immigrants. Despite the fact my mother was an educated woman and fluent in English, the providers preferred talking to me, a twelve-year-old, because my English was accentless. The lack of respect and continuous dismissal of my mother’s voice and story resulted in the disaster of finding a fibroid years later. This was when I had my first perception of the American healthcare system and what it is like for immigrants.
After watching my mother, my own menstrual firsts started. My first bleed, my first cramps, and my first time fainting from the pain. But after watching my mother’s fight, I had new tactics. When my own primary care physician dismissed the pain of PMS, I demanded more solutions. I was finally prescribed birth control pills and started my own battle of balancing the period management and the side effects. While I’m still on the journey of figuring out the best period management option, I have also become hyper-aware of my chance of fibroid development; I’ve learned to advocate for myself to get the ultrasounds or tests I need. With my mom pioneering women’s health battles, I’m able to pursue a master’s degree in Public Health and uplift other unheard women. I am a tenacious tiger who’s roar will be heard.
Tara Nash (she/her/hers) is a graduating Master's in Public Health student at Columbia University in the Department of Sociomedical Sciences with a focus on Public Health Research Methods. During her undergraduate time at UC Berkeley, she had various roles in healthcare-related fields while focusing on advocacy in immigrant communities. She works currently as a Chef Instructor and Assistant for the Sylvia Center to help teach nutrition to underserved NYC youth. She also is the current Miss Queens 2023 and is competing for Miss New York this June!
